The well-known adage, ‘life begins at forty’ seems a bit premature these days.  With the number of women having babies in their forties doubling in the last decade, many are still dealing with the pressures of work and demanding toddlers at this stage of life.  Fifty, however, has become the new forty, with new found freedom from ties with young children and more time to indulge yourself and revitalise your love life.

Loss of libido

It could be regarded as a case of bad timing with this feeling of liberation coinciding with the onset of the menopause. Most women by their mid fifties will have experienced some menopausal symptoms which can temporarily hamper a woman’s ability to enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship.  Night sweats, hot flushes, vaginal dryness and irregular periods can be counterproductive to romance and intimacy. Loss of libido can also be a problem around and after the menopause leading to relationship difficulties, often compounded by the psychological symptoms of mood swings, insomnia and depression.

Beat the menopause

However, the good news is that all these problems can usually be remedied and only last for a short time.  Following a balanced diet including plenty of foods rich in essential oils like oily fish and seeds, fresh fruit and vegetables as well as soya products and regular exercise will soon help you feel fit and positive again.  A visit to the GP will also solve the problem or vaginal dryness and painful sex within just a few weeks.  Local oestrogen therapy which is  available on prescription will relieve dryness and soreness and help tissue function return to normal getting your sex life back on track.4 It is important though for women in their fifties to remember to use contraception for at least a year after their last period as it is still possible for women to conceive in their late forties and early fifties.

Renewed confidence

Despite the changes experienced during and after the menopause, it is a time to enjoy your life with renewed confidence emotionally and sexually.  After the menopause, you may find yourself experiencing new levels of satisfaction in your life with many women having more fun and independence than ever  before. Many women also find that they have time for greater self-exploration with the freedom to explore new job options, travel, or leisure activities.

Invigorated sex life

With children grown up many women also have more freedom to be intimate with their partner and enjoy an enhanced love life after the menopause.  A recent study in the UK found that 64% of postmenopausal women reported having as good as or a better sex life than premenopause. Furthermore, it is now known that women have at least the same ability as men to enjoy sex and for many, the fact that their partners take longer with age to reach an orgasm means that they are both more likely to climax at the same time. This allows for longer love-making providing both partners time to enjoy deeper feelings of intimacy. 

Comfort and love

After the menopause, couples often find that the emotional pleasure of touching becomes more important than the physical pleasure of penetrative sex.  Such contact offers reassurance and comfort and the opportunity to show tenderness, companionship and love. After the woman’s menopause, a couples’ relationship becomes more mature with emotional expressions of love overtaking sexual intercourse helping to boost confidence and enhance feelings of self-esteem and self-worth.

Freedom at fifty

For some women, this feeling of freedom in their fifties can, however, trigger the end of a relationship.  Renewed confidence allows them to re-evaluate what they want from the rest of their lives and according to the Office of National Statistics, more people over 50 in Britain are getting divorced than ever before.  A survey for Saga magazine found the main reasons couples split was the sudden realisation they had spent years focusing on being parents at the expense of being partners and that they would rather be free and single than stuck in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship.

Single at fifty

Some women at this time also become single due to the death of a partner.  Dealing with the loss of a loved one and the prospect of embarking on a new relationship can be immensely daunting at this stage in life.  It is important to be as sociable as possible to prevent feelings of loneliness and to seek professional  help to deal with  overwhelming grief.  Women who meet a new partner will find it easier if they are at ease with themselves and can enjoy a relaxed, intimate relationship  before embarking on a sexual relationship.

Live longer

Regardless of tricky times in a relationship, there is evidence to suggest that a happy mutually satisfying relationship and sex life can not only help you live longer but also help fight the symptoms of the menopause and keep wrinkles at bay too. According to a study in Health Psychology Journal, being happily married for a long time leads to greater life expectancy for men and women and couples with a healthy sex life and intimate relationship can look up to seven years younger.  Now that’s got to be worth the odd row over the remote control.

Web:06/08 Aug 2006

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